Oh, 2009.

I'm so sorry.. for you.

I can't help but feel sorry for you.

I never realized how desperate you were (still are). I know you too well to know that you'd do that stupid move of yours.

I finally came up with the darnest explanation for your actions.

You CANNOT be alone. You've never ever even spent a Christmas alone.

Maybe, it's a sickness now. Please, get yourself checked up.

Fool.

Maybe I should stop believing that it would be so magical when I go home.

For all this time, I have been fooling myself into thinking that we had made so much of an impact at each other's lives, something extraordinary would happen when we see each other again.

No, we're not Noah and Allie from the Notebook. We're not some characters cookie-cut from a perfect-ending movie.

We're just me and you. Two people who fell in love in high school and got over it.

We're not special. We're ordinary.

It's going to be as bland as yogurt the next time we see each other. I hope it's gonna be.

I don't want to end up like her, who waited 2 years for us to break up, to be with you again.

I want to move on.

I want to be able to look you in the eye and know that I don't want to kiss you. I want to be able to look you in the eye and know that I don't want you to feel my love.

And oh, it still won't change a thing. I still don't think we can be friends anymore.